I find retirement to be a confusing time of life. It has many benefits, of course, in that you can pretty much decide for yourself what your day will be like. But that is somewhat deceiving because of life's unpredictable nature.
I decided that I should set up an informal agenda so that I could best make use of my new freedom. I would spend an hour to two hours a day playing my guitar, an hour to two hours reading, another hour to two hours writing, have at least a half hour walk along the canal everyday (or go hiking somewhere), spend the rest of the day doing projects around the house or go out to lunch somewhere, and so on. I've probably already bored you with all that. Sorry!
Anyway the idea made sense, and frankly, still makes sense. The thing is, though, I've never been a regimented person. Intellectually it sounds great; emotionally it rubs me the wrong way. My use of my time has been haphazard by many peoples' standards, I'm sure. Thus, the effort to be "sensible" and practical, as it were, is a major struggle. And I must admit, I'm suffering from a little guilt.
Even when I was in the ministry full-time and going to the office everyday, I was far from the executive type, overseeing the staff and running the business of the church. My day was largely people oriented, which struck me as the main purpose of being a minister, after all. I loved it when people came into the church and we could chat or discuss whatever was on their mind. There was a lot of laughter and, at times, airing of frustrations, and even shared tears.
The dilemma of retirement years for me is the fact that you no longer have to report to work and can usually do whatever you want--within limits, of course, money being a major object. But at the same time, you are presented with the fact that if you don't do some serious thinking and planning (executive skills, might I add), time will slip away from you and you'll end up actually doing nothing worthwhile, except TV, computer games, and crossword puzzles. In my job as a minister, people set my agenda by their sudden delightful appearances in the church.
I guess what I'm saying is, I guess it's time to get organized after all these years.
Or...maybe figure out how to blend that wonderful improvisational structure you had into retirement. Go where the day leads you, put yourself in a place to meet those "new" people that can drop into your "office" (aka - wherever you are at the moment) and see how that shapes the time. I can imagine after all those years of letting it be shaped by others, the newness of shaping it for oneself would be an attraction, too. But, on the whole, it seems like the old lack-of-organization as you perceived might just fit your personality. Only now there's less baggage with the interactions. You have fewer job obligations about those chance meetings. You can just take them for what you will. Isn't that a great part of retirement? I envy those days in the future, myself. Just one guy's thoughts... Enjoy your organizing!
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