TRYING TOO HARD

            

There are some things that I miss about being the pastor of a church, but not everything. It’s nice to sit in a pew next to my wife and not be responsible for how a Sunday worship service turns out. All I have to do is relax and let myself be absorbed in the spirituality of communing with God in a time apart from the world with all its current madness. And the church we are presently attending provides just what both of us are looking for—thoughtful music, prayers, and sermons that invite your participation.

          They asked me to preach one Sunday this past summer, but I don’t think I did a very good job of it. It had been a little over a year since I stood in the pulpit and delivered the Word, as it were, and I felt a bit awkward in doing so. My thoughts were meandering and sometimes trivial, even though I had spent a great deal of time preparing. Perhaps I tried too hard to be clever or to at least be creative in my approach. I don’t know for sure, but I do know that it was far from what I had hoped it would be. Some people—I think politely—said that they appreciated what I had to say.

          I’ve never been a scholarly preacher. It’s not who I am. I’m more of a storyteller than an intellectually fine-tuned presenter of truth. Whenever I’ve tried to be otherwise, I’ve usually come off either terribly dry and boring or pretentious at best. When I was in seminary, I once asked one of my preaching professors how to develop a preaching style, and he said, “You already have one—you’re a storyteller—go with it.” So I pretty much stuck with it throughout my career, with a few exceptions here and there just for the sake of changing it up (which is not always a good reason).    

          The reason I’m bringing all this up is because a realization has set in that I wanted to share with any of you who may experience from time to time, key moments in life that you were hoping would be both rewarding and uplifting, but turned out to be, if not disastrous, nonetheless disappointing. I believe I am right in saying that almost all of us do have them once in a while. In time we get over them. We come to the place where we realize it was not as a big a deal as we have made it out to be. However we still may wonder what happened when our intentions were so earnest and pure.

          I believe in many cases we are guilty of trying too hard to be “perfect.” Perfection is not always a healthy goal. To be good or to be better at something is one thing, but to think we have to be flawless is quite another. The pressure and stress related to that saps the joy out of what we are wanting to do.

          We were in New Orleans last week visiting our daughter. We went to one of our favorite places down there—Preservation Jazz Hall. It is truly one of life’s greatest musical experiences as far as we are concerned. The musicians are incredible! Their music flows out of them with such ease and joy. As a group, they are able to feel one another’s musical spirit to such a degree that each performance is a magnificent blending of their hearts and souls. That may seem like an exaggeration, but it’s what we have truly felt whenever we have gone there.

          Now what does that have to do with what I’ve been talking about? I believe that one reason their music flows so beautifully is because it is effortlessly performed. Their egos aren’t in the way because they are completely relaxed and aren’t self-conscious about how perfectly they’re doing it. i.e.-they’re not trying too hard.

          Granted, they are masterful musicians, extremely talented, and know what they’re about. Yet, that’s only true, I believe, because they lose themselves in the joy of their music and not in the effort of trying to perform it perfectly—even though it is perfect to my ears.

          Just a thought, but what if we could each regard life with the same ease and flow? What if we trusted in who we are and allowed ourselves to relax and live without being self-conscious of what we need to try to be other than what we are? I don’t know if that makes sense to you, but I just share this with you as a possible way of increasing our joy in life, free from the tension of trying too hard.

Preservation Jazz Hall Trumpeter