Thursday, January 31, 2019

TWO LISTS FOR 2019


     It’s about the time that most New Year’s resolutions start to disappear into the annals of personal history, if they haven’t already. I make them still, but I realize that they are usually a whimsical promise—a tradition not to be taken too seriously, even though, at the moment they are made, they seem quite intentional. However, it does make me wonder about just how my life would be different if I actually followed through with them.

     It’s not that I never stick with them, it’s just that it’s more the exception than the rule. And it’s also not that I don’t need to make self-improvements because I surely do. On the seemingly typical, fanciful side, this year I said that I would learn to paint, learn Italian, move into the realm of more classic jazz on the guitar and a bit away from folk music, and focus on healthy living. So far, none of those are on the way of being achieved, except minor strides in healthy living. But then, healthy living has mostly been true of me anyway—except for loving cream donuts, ice cream, cake, pizza, pasta, fried chicken and an occasional burger and fries (everything in moderation is the rule of thumb there).

     I will say this, for those who doubt my potential for achieving new things: the year is young and the possibility of my getting around to learning to paint and learning Italian and getting more into jazz on the guitar is still within reach of my good intentions. I’ll get back to you in December.

The list of resolutions I just mentioned, though, I describe as being on the typical, fanciful side, but there is another list which I made and have pretty much kept to myself. You see, the first list has to do with outward achievements—obvious and observable things that people could evaluate if they wanted.  The second list, though (which has become my primary list for 2019), has to do with inward things which no one would necessarily notice at all.

     While we were at a lake house in Italy, I had plenty of time to do some deep thinking, which I did. I thought about what I wanted most in life. I want to be happy, healthy, fulfilled, and at peace within no matter what. I’ve talked about that for a long time, and I know that millions of people also probably want that too. Ultimately, to get to that point 24/7 has a very low probability factor. However I believe that there are things that can get us closer to it. And I don’t think that they are big things either.

     Actually I see them as well within our reach, and surprisingly they have more to do with letting go than taking on. Here’s a list I’m committed to let go of:
·Letting my ego be in charge of my emotions
·Getting hung up about petty differences that really don’t matter
·Needing to always be right
·Feeling that I always need to prove my 
 self-worth
·Unnecessarily hurrying in doing things
      (Fred Rogers wrote a song that goes 
      “I like to take my time…”)
·Thinking too much about getting older

Those are just a few of a bigger list that I’m trying to recognize as things that interfere with my personal wellbeing. I’m actually trying to become conscious of unnecessary and disrupting personal traits which I have taken on through the years to the degree that I accept them as ordinary and as who I am rather than the internal enemies of being happy, healthy, fulfilled, and at peace within.  

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