It’s about the time that most New Year’s resolutions start
to disappear into the annals of personal history, if they haven’t already. I make
them still, but I realize that they are usually a whimsical promise—a tradition
not to be taken too seriously, even though, at the moment they are made, they
seem quite intentional. However, it does make me wonder about just how my life
would be different if I actually followed through with them.
It’s not that I never stick with them, it’s just that it’s
more the exception than the rule. And it’s also not that I don’t need to make self-improvements
because I surely do. On the seemingly typical, fanciful side, this year I said
that I would learn to paint, learn Italian, move into the realm of more classic
jazz on the guitar and a bit away from folk music, and focus on healthy living.
So far, none of those are on the way of being achieved, except minor strides in
healthy living. But then, healthy living has mostly been true of me anyway—except
for loving cream donuts, ice cream, cake, pizza, pasta, fried chicken and an
occasional burger and fries (everything in moderation is the rule of thumb there).
I will say this, for those who doubt my potential for
achieving new things: the year is young and the possibility of my getting around
to learning to paint and learning Italian and getting more into jazz on the
guitar is still within reach of my good intentions. I’ll get back to you in
December.
The list of resolutions I just mentioned, though, I describe
as being on the typical, fanciful side, but there is another list which I made
and have pretty much kept to myself. You see, the first list has to do with outward
achievements—obvious and observable things that people could evaluate if they
wanted. The second list, though (which
has become my primary list for 2019), has to do with inward things which no one
would necessarily notice at all.
While we were at a lake house in Italy, I had plenty of time
to do some deep thinking, which I did. I thought about what I wanted most in
life. I want to be happy, healthy, fulfilled, and at peace within no matter
what. I’ve talked about that for a long time, and I know that millions of
people also probably want that too. Ultimately, to get to that point 24/7 has a
very low probability factor. However I believe that there are things that can
get us closer to it. And I don’t think that they are big things either.
Actually I see them as well within our reach, and
surprisingly they have more to do with letting go than taking on. Here’s a list
I’m committed to let go of:
·Letting my ego be in charge of my emotions
·Getting hung up about petty differences that really don’t matter
·Needing to always be right
·Feeling that I always need to prove my
self-worth
·Unnecessarily hurrying in doing things
(Fred
Rogers wrote a song that goes
“I like to take my time…”)
·Thinking too much about getting older
Those
are just a few of a bigger list that I’m trying to recognize as things that interfere
with my personal wellbeing. I’m actually trying to become conscious of unnecessary
and disrupting personal traits which I have taken on through the years to the
degree that I accept them as ordinary and as who I am rather than the internal
enemies of being happy, healthy, fulfilled, and at peace within.
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