"AYE, THERE'S THE RUB"

At the  lake in the Poconos

The year 2018, from here on out, will go zooming by into oblivion, so to speak, leaving behind it a trail of faded ambitions that I had for making it a year of new accomplishments and experiences. Some of those things happened, some did not. But all that I promised myself that I would do and be, all that I said I would finally have time to get around to, all that in my mind seemed entirely possible, still linger in the sanctuary of my heart and are not forgotten.
     But, of course, I realize that it is a common trait of human thinking to imagine things on a grander scale than life itself will sometimes allow to happen. On the other hand, it is also a common human trait to make excuses for why things were not or are not possible. 
     The thought that comes to mind is a line from the famous "To be, or not to be" soliloquy from Hamlet: "aye, there's the rub." In other words, there is an underlying tension that hums at the center of the human spirit that makes life both interesting and frustrating at the same time. 
     As a child, I was a dreamer--a day dreamer--always imagining myself being able to do amazing things. In part, that was because I felt very inadequate when it came to some real life challenges like playing sports--a very important ability in the lives of kids in the 1950's. Also, other kids always seem to know so much more than me about almost everything. I didn't know how they knew things, they just did. 
     But now that I'm 75 years old, I have come to the place wherein I realize that life is a series of successes and failures, opportunities and detours, joys and sorrows, ease and struggles--"aye, there's the rub." However, let it be known that that is the way life simply is and not the result of some mean spirited force that gets amusement from human misery and pain. 

Sunset Prophets

     I say all this to make a point, and the point is that we all still need to dream no matter who we are and how old we are, to sometimes think big, to continue to make promises to ourselves that we may or may not be able keep, depending on the unfolding circumstances of our lives, and to come to terms with the greater reality that the best thing we can do is to accept ourselves as truly lovable people who mean well and whose lives are important to the creative and positive energy of the world.

A BRIDGE TO CROSS

    

 One of the things that I like to do now that I am retired is to take the long way home when I go on errands. I call them "excursions," following meandering roads through the countryside and sometimes even through a covered bridge here and there.  I suppose that the fact that I have an app on my phone that will guide me home whenever I happen to wander too far astray makes it seem less daring, and probably much less of a true adventure. But still, it definitely feels like I'm doing something wonderfully carefree while claiming my right to enjoy life without guilt or anxiety.

     Days like that are so refreshingly joyful in subtle ways that it makes me realize just how fortunate I am at this stage of my life, having gone through a few difficult years here and there. When I say that, I am quite aware of the fact that nothing I have experienced comes even close to what some people have had to face in their lifetime.

     I know that many people have suffered excruciating pain from the loss of a loved one, illness that seemed to have come out of nowhere, homes destroyed by fire or storm, and dozens of other kinds of tragedies. Yet I have known people who have faced those times with an amazing stamina and, in some cases, even keeping a relatively positive outlook on life. That, by the way, is not meant to suggest that there is anything inappropriate about feeling extreme sadness or depression or even anger under those circumstances. As a matter of fact, it is quite normal.

     What I am wanting to say is that we all go through difficult times in different ways. But one of the things that helps us regain our balance and eventually be restored to a healthy place emotionally, spiritually, and even physically at times, are the people of our lives--family, friends, and sometimes mere acquaintances who have been there for us when the forces of life were against us.
 
     I know for myself that one of the things I want to be sure to include in my giving thanks in the upcoming Thanksgiving Day celebration is to remember all the people who have helped me in so many ways in difficult or trying times; people who said just the right things to me; people who reached out to me when I needed reassurance that I was okay; people who provided for me when I was in need. Bottom line: I want to pass through that bridge that leads from merely living on one side to deep love and appreciation for the many wonderfully supportive people of my life on the other.  

A SEASON FOR LETTING GO

I took these pictures yesterday. Baldpate Mountain is showing its fall colors in its usual splendid way. And our maple trees are getting ready to drop their leaves for our annual golden-carpeted lawn. 
Actually, one of my current favorite singers, Carrie Newcomer, sings "Leave Don't Drop, They just let go." Sounds less fatalistic, more natural.

Every year I have suggested that we rake some of them up and spread them out over the living room floor. We haven't done that yet and we're not likely ever to do so for some very practical reasons. It's just a way of my expressing appreciation for "the beauty of the earth."🎜🎝

I watched a PBS series recently called "Autumnwatch New England." I thought it was great for a couple of reasons. One is the fact that New England is one of my favorite places to visit in any season of the year. The other is that I have been feeling the need to step aside from what's going on in our country at the moment, filled as it is with a constant state of turmoil and uncertainty, animosity and division.

By the way, "escape" (aka "step aside") does not always have a negative connotation, as if a person is being unrealistic or naive. As far as I'm concerned, It is very much a necessary ingredient into a healthy sense of well-being. 

One thing more, the season change, the time change, and the leaves letting go of the branches they've held onto all spring and summer makes me think that it's time for me also to let go of whatever I've been holding onto that has had any kind of negative influence in my view of life, and renew my hope, joy, and thanksgiving for just being alive.