Lessons Learned in Europe (or 8th Grade)

On a bridge in Bruges

We spent the first two and a half weeks of this year in Brussels, Belgium, with a quick stopover in Amsterdam. We were visiting our son, Tim, and his significant other, Elva. It was our third trip to Europe and it made me think of a time many years ago when my memories of that part of the world were far less joyful.

When I was in 8th grade we had to do a European booklet. There was a lot of cutting and pasting and long-hand writing (no computers in those days). Then it had to be put neatly together in one of those paper/cardboard folders with the metal clips, using, of course, three ring notebook paper. Some of you probably know exactly what I'm talking about. 

It took a long time to gather all the pictures and info for each country. When it was finished, it had absolutely no resemblance whatsoever to National Geographic, but there was some pride involved in having done that. However, one unfortunate thing happened that took the wind out of my sails.

There was a kind of bully in the class (although not of the same caliber of the ones we hear of in the news these days). He shall remain nameless though I seriously doubt that most of you would know him anyway. I guess I had my share of good days and bad days with him, since I was one of the less important kids in the class and not one of the Jr.High age movers and shakers.

Anyway, the story goes as follows.
It was during the lunch break and one-by-one all the kids were returning to the classroom. Today was the day to hand in our European booklets, which I had proudly (more for the fact that I had completed than for its quality) placed on the corner of my desk, waiting for the teacher to come back in and collect them.

My sometimes-friend-and-sometimes-foe came in and spotted my booklet and though he had one of his own, it was far from complete. He was under pressure. Today he would be my friend because he asked in his bigger-than-me persuasive voice, if he could borrow mine to copy from. At first I resisted in my usual humble (sheepish) manner, but his commanding presence was very persuasive. 

Now here's the next thing you need to know. Our teacher had explicitly warned us that if she caught anyone copying someone else's booklet, she would confiscate both and rip them in half. I knew that and the thought of that alone should have made me deny my sometimes friend, sometimes foe's request. But something inside of me thought that she wouldn't really do that. I'm guessing that you're guessing what happen next.

Sure enough, as he was busily and frantically copying my booklet, in comes the teacher who immediately knew was what going on.  She grabbed both booklets and waited until the rest of the class came in, and then she stood up front, announcing to everyone that she was sorry that she had to do this, but she had warned us. Then taking my booklet in hand, she tore it in half, right in front of everyone. 

To this day, I can recall the feeling I had down deep inside, watching that. I had no choice but to do it all over again, which the teacher graciously allowed me the extra time to complete. I think she genuinely felt sorry for me because she knew that I had been a victim because she also knew the other boy's traits.

The point of my telling you this is not about bullying; it's about grace in the midst of life's worst moments. We've all done and said foolish things--
sometimes under duress, sometimes out of fear, sometimes out of carelessness, and sometimes out of innocence and ignorance. Enter stage right, grace.  

At the heart of life's events and circumstances is the great equalizer--the universal state of being human. There is mercy to be had and mercy to be found and mercy to be given in the realization that we are all in this thing called life together.  Maybe that suggests that we should learn to forgive ourselves and learn to forgive one another more easily than we do. Of course, after the lessons have been learned.

By the way, I remember that Belgium and the Netherlands were in my booklet. They're much better in person.