Yet and Still

So today I am about nothing in particular except to think about ways to improve my life.  I say that not because there's anything wrong with my life, but because to not think along those lines is to resign myself to the way things are as being enough. In other words, no need for more growth intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, or in my general well-being. That idea sounds as if I would be ready for the proverbial "rocking chair."

My recent hospital stay has made me very reflective in some ways. Things could have turned out a lot differently than they did. I could have ended up with a full-blown stroke that left me paralyzed or even led to my demise. Instead I got a tap on the shoulder from some spirit guide that whispered in my ear, "Jack, relax, enjoy life, laugh, love, and do what you can to make the most of the years you have left on this planet." 

There are some things that I know I probably won't be able to accomplish. I won't become that rock star that I wanted to be when I was seventeen; I won't grow any taller--in fact, I'm getting shorter than my original towering height of 5'7"; I won't ever become that world-famous preacher that I thought I might want to be when I was in my first year of college in North Carolina; there's a pretty good chance that I'll never write that great American novel that's Number 1 on the New York Times' Best Seller List for weeks on end; and for sure, I won't get any younger, chronologically speaking.

So where does that leave me in the grand scheme of things? Well, I can still play the guitar and sing for my personal pleasure and for anyone else who may enjoy what talent I possess along those lines; and I can practice and even get better in some ways. I may not be able to grow any taller physically but I can stand erect and be thankful that I can still be up on two feet. I can work on my skills as a speaker/preacher and treat them with respect as a form of who I am, and give thanks for those who are willing to listen to what I have to say. I can continue to write with a sense of purpose and enjoyment because you don't have to be on any list of best-sellers to be qualified to do so. And I can continue to work on not letting an old person into my form.

 The bottom line is this: the meaning of our lives is not based upon fame or fortune. It's based on how much we treasure it ourselves as each new day dawns as a gift from God.

Another one of Life's Realities

I haven't written in awhile--ever since we got back from a terrific vacation in the Florida Keys. It was a wonderful birthday present from my wife and I guess that in some ways I'm still under the spell. On the other hand, life's realities have caught up with me in a very attention-getting way. 

Sunday night before last, I was standing talking with a friend in the living room when, suddenly, I began slurring my words and the left side of my face began to sag (not to mention that I was drooling out of that side of my mouth--oh, never mind, I just mentioned it. Not a pretty image.) 

I was having what is commonly referred to as a TIA; i.e.- a mini-stroke, mild stroke, partial stroke...something like that. Chris had been on the front porch talking with another friend and came in looking panicked as the person to whom I was speaking also was panicked and they said, "Jack, sit down." 

That was followed by a call to 911, the arrival of the police, the EMT's, and paramedics. All the while, I had no recollection that anything had occurred other than having been talking with a friend about the beautiful spring weather. It apparently had lasted about 3-4 minutes.

Needless to say, I was taken to the hospital and spent the next few days there undergoing tests, taking medications and selecting food from the hospital menu. Happily I was released without any side effects from the
"stroke." It was, however, a definite warning sign to make sure that I take my meds and continue to follow up with the appropriate appointments with my doctors. My diet has been and is almost completely vegan (with some very minute variations there from time to time) so there's no worry along those lines. I'll just continue my same healthy eating plan.

The interesting thing from all of this is that rather than being discouraged or upset, the whole experience has made me feel very positive about life. I can't explain it, but I will say this: Another of our friends who was there that night was holding my hand and had her hand on my shoulder. She's a deeply spiritual woman, but definitely not in any kooky sort of way. She suddenly said to me, "Jack, there's an angel standing right next to you." Then she described to me what she saw . Bottom line: I absolutely believe her. And I have a very deep conviction that there's one standing right next to you, too.