Putting Sentimentality Into Perspective

For some reason I’ve been a bit sentimental lately. This time of year often strikes me like that. It’s not the kind of sentimentality that makes me want to return to any former days of my life—no, not at all. In fact, in almost every way these are the best days of my life so far! And I am under no illusion that the past represents the “good old days.” That’s just plain absurd.

The kind of sentimentality that I’m experiencing results from a softening of the edges of any times that were in anyway painful for me and transforming those emotions into gratitude. I have been very fortunate that I have had a very happy and healthy life, with few agonies to suffer. Yet all of us, I think, are subject to disappointments, hurts, and times of great discomfort.

Some of those are self-inflicted through carelessness, poor judgment, and some misguided expectations. Afterwards we come to the realization of “Oh, I shouldn’t have done that, said that, or been that!” The consequences that follow keep us awake at night, trying to figure out how to correct whatever situation we brought upon ourselves. Whether they are correctable or not, afterward we may still regret them, sometimes for many years down the road. I’ve had a few of those.

Some of those times just happen to us without our having done anything to cause them, although the philosophy of the Hawaiian prayer, ho’ oponopono, insists that we are responsible for whatever is in our lives. Thus the prayer, recited like a mantra, is “I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you,” offered to the Divine. It’s very effective when taken seriously and we accept full responsibility for everything in our lives.

But sometimes I believe that it is necessary for us to undergo brief periods of sentimentality and even melancholy—not to be confused with depression. The important thing, though, is not to linger there. Just accept that with the understanding that it’s part of the human experience on this planet. And, if possible, transform your thoughts into a form of gratitude that recognizes that your life experiences, good and bad, have brought you to this time and place. They were your “teachers.” They gave you the wisdom to know that you are all right in this present moment and that no one has the right to judge you because we're all in the same boat in this life.

I recently came across this saying of Ralph Waldo Emerson that I like: “Finish each day and be done with it…You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it well and serenely.”

Oh, by the way, the serenity he speaks of I believe comes as a result of transforming regrets and painful past into thanksgiving. “I love you; I’m sorry; please forgive me; thank you.”