A CASUAL COMMENT

Chris said something very interesting to me this past week that has been lingering in my mind ever since. She said, “Nothing seems to rattle you anymore.” I, of course, assume that she meant that as a compliment or at least a positive observation. Whatever is the case, she is right. Admittedly I have never been a person who has gotten especially “rattled” anyway.

As a matter of fact, many years ago when I was having lunch with some clergy colleagues of mine during Annual Conference in Ocean City, the discussion got around to talking about the stresses of ministry. A couple of people in our little group were apparently feeling overwhelmed by the problems of their particular churches. Others were sharing some ways that they dealt with anxiety and conflict.  Then I mentioned the fact that I meditate every day and that helps me to relax and not get swept along with the tides of tension. Then one of them said, “Jack, if you get any more relaxed, we’d have to carry you into the Conference sessions.”

As I've gotten older, I still meditate regularly and it continues to be a meaningful practice of my spiritual life. Of course, Chris’s comment implies that she has seen me lose my cool sometimes, but that she has not seen it happen for quite a while. I don’t think it is entirely the result of getting older—it’s more a case of a slight paradigm shift in my psyche.

That part which is related to my age is the result of looking back over the years of my life and realizing that whatever issues or problems I have had, they have long ago disappeared in the dust of the passing of time. In other words, to a large extent, other than the invaluable lessons I learned in some cases from them, they have become irrelevant to my present life. So, if that is true, then the things that happen in the present must be made of the same material that, in turn, will also become irrelevant to my well-being. i.e. - they cannot destroy my soul.

Another thing that comes into play is the simple recognition that we humans tend to make far too much out of little things that really don’t matter very much in the first place, and we give those little things permission to take over our emotions and cause conflict, stress, and sleepless nights. We make them so important that we lose perspective on things that really matter like relationships and happiness and harmony and living a good healthy life.

Where the big things that do matter are concerned, we are at the mercy of the flow of life. And yet, we have at our disposal no less than the power of hope and prayer and a wondrous creating Spirit behind all there is—a Spirit that urges us to let go and let God.

 WISDOM PEOPLE

Sitting on our front porch on an early Saturday evening, listening to James Taylor, enjoying a breeze pushing the heat out of the way, and for some reason, thinking about the wise people who have guided me throughout my life. My guess is that most of them never thought of themselves as wise--they just had some key insights at the right moments. 

I think of my father who several times said to me when I was facing some situation I was not that happy about (like the time I was drafted during the Vietnam War), "Son, you'll never regret the experience." As I was doing KP or in some kind of training maneuver in Basic Training, I thought of his words and in those particular moments, they didn't exactly ring true. But later, I got it.

Then there was a man I worked with in Johnson's Department Store in my hometown of Medford. He would give me a task, and me being me, I made it harder and longer than it should have been. And after he watched me for a while he would say, "Make your head save your heels." i.e.-Think! I suppose it's somewhat related to that saying from the world of carpentry: "Measure twice, cut once." 

Then there was the woman at St. Andrew's United Methodist Church in Cherry Hill where I was the youth minister for 4 years. She gave me some advice on my spiritual life. She introduced me to "picture praying," in which you develop a picture of something you want or need in your life; see yourself enjoying your life in whatever way that which you desire creates for you...a new job, a new place to live, a healthy body, or see yourself or a loved one in white light, etc; let that picture replay in your mind throughout your day and days. If nothing else it will bring you peace.

The wisdom people of my life have been children, adults, or elderly. They have been people I've known intimately or hardly at all. They have given me simple insights or major paradigm shifts. 

Their wisdom has come through words or by example or both, such as the time when my middle son who was about six years old and was sitting at the table in the kitchen eating his breakfast, and I was at the sink doing dishes. He had a favorite mug that actually was from a time way before he was born. It was one of those milk-glass-like mugs with a picture of Hopalong Cassidy on the side--a cowboy hero from my childhood. I used to tease him about trading mugs with him, which pleased him to no end that he had something that I wanted. 

Anyway, I was washing that mug and it slipped out of my hands into the sink and broke into a gazillion pieces. His eyes got big and he came over to the sink and looked down and saw the remains of his favorite mug. I said, "i'm so sorry, Pete!" He looked up at me and simply said in a very comforting tone, "That's all right, Daddy--you didn't mean to do that." 

That day I learned the way of gracious forgiveness from the words and example of a child. I wonder what else we could learn from one another if we got our egos out of the way and simply listened to one another with open hearts and minds?

 

A PERSONAL MOMENT OF TRUTH

On this 4th of July 2015, I'm thinking about what is most meaningful to me at this stage of my life. Of course there are the obvious things: my wife, our children, and my family at large; my ability to still be in reasonably good health with a fair amount of vitality at my age; the fact that I'm still involved in the ministry, though part-time (which is the way I want it); and a wonderful place to live that is both comfortable and rustically beautiful (the kind of place I've always wanted to live)
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Those things add up to a very nice life and one for which I am extremely grateful. I could add to those a whole host of great memories drawn from years gone by: people, experiences, and places I've been.

Last Monday I stood at the grave of Robert Frost in Old First Congregational Church in Bennington, VT. I was mesmerized by the fact that here lay the body of a man whose name and works I have known for most of my life. Among my favorite of his poems are Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening, Birches, Mending Wall, and certainly, The Road Not Taken. Someone planted a birch tree right next to his grave. 

Also in that cemetery are the graves of several soldiers who fought in the Battle of Bennington on August 16, 1777. Their names have long ago been forgotten with the possible exception of those whose history is directly linked to them. However maudlin that may come across to some people (although I don't know why), I found being there deeply inspiring. It was a profound moment.

Standing at the grave of someone I have admired for his thinking and writing all my life, and also at the graves of those who had fallen during a significant battle of the American Revolution in order for us to live freely, somehow seemed like a perfect blend of truth to me. I am not sure that I can express it the way I'm feeling it, but express your life joyfully and creatively, compassionately and appreciatively because we are all here for but a short time; but we are called to live as if life really matters. Those who died so very long ago now, died for no less a purpose.